So Friday I enjoyed a day off from my normal physical exercise.  I've been coming down with something ever since I flew out to California last weekend to visit with my dad's family.  It was an emotional weekend and I think the stress definitely took it's toll in a much more physical way than usual.  So I listened to my body for once and took a break.  That lasted about 24 hours and then I was out on the trails again abusing my body!


Saturday I did an early run with the Trailheads in Chapel Hill.  A friend convinced me to go because she needed a buddy to do 2.5 hours with her.  As the good friend that I am, I told her I'd run as far as I could with her, then turn around and go home.  Which pretty much meant that I was out there for the long haul.  And she knew that!  But surprisingly, despite not feeling well all week, I felt pretty good once we got started and only started to struggle at the 2 hour mark.  Good sign for the marathon I have coming up in a month!

I used to be a lone runner.  I loved to go out by myself and run at my own pace for as long as I wanted to run and not have to worry about anyone else.  But for the past 6 months I've been running with a running group at my school and with the Trailheads on the weekends.  So yesterday when I went to meet up with the running group and no else showed, I was sorely disappointed.  I decided to go out by myself anyway since I was all ready to go.  There was no one to push me, no one to distract me, no one to talk to, and no one to add a little extra to the end of the run.  So it was the most boring 5 mile run in a long time.  And to think, I used to love running alone!

So I am now signed up and training for the heavy category of the Bataan Memorial Death March.  This means that I'm not only doing a marathon in the desert, but I'm doing a marathon in the desert with 35 extra pounds on my back.  Don't tell my mom.  She's not happy I'm even considering doing a marathon right now.  Let alone a marathon that is harder than it has to be.  But my dad would understand.  He'd probably want to do it too.  He did a desert race once in Rijhad Saudi Arabia.  He took pictures and all you see for miles in all directions was sand.  Afterwards all he could talk about was how cool it was.  I'm sure it wasn't "so cool" during the race (haha..get it?), but it was an experience that he then carried with him forever.  


And so my training begins.  First, I need a pack.  Then I need to fill the pack with 35 pounds of...any ideas?  I wanted to fill it with gummy bears and water, but apparently I'm not allowed to eat my way through the 35 lbs as I go so that's not going to work.  Maybe sand then?  And then after I fill my pack I need to carry it around for awhile to get used to the weight. 


So I think I'll start training tomorrow.  For now I'm just going to go for a long run!  :)

So it's time to begin Ironman training for Lake Placid.  And I'm pretty much where I need to be physically, but emotionally I continue to struggle every single day.  My dad would be upset if he knew that, I know.  He wouldn't want me to quit anything because of him.  But when I get up in the morning, I have just a moment of peace and then it hits me again that my life is no longer the same, that my dad's life is no longer and that I have sustained a great loss.  My dad and I didn't always get along.  We didn't always see eye to eye on things.  But he was there for me, he loved me dearly and he was always such an inspiration to live life.

So I face Ironman training and will continue training...continue taking life (and training) one day at a time.  Because that's what my dad would want.  I will live my life and make him proud.  

PS - Quick Thoughts About Medical School:
1. There isn't time for yourself during medical school.  
2. Taking a week off and trying to make it back up is not so easy in medical school.
3. Taking a week off and trying to make it back up while also beginning Ironman training pretty much sucks. :)

Alright, more later...

Video of my sister on Anderson Cooper 360 sharing our story:
http://video.aol.co.uk/video-detail/
anderson-cooper-360-anderson-cooper-360-daughter-mourns-missing-father/640964466

Training has been rough these last couple of weeks.  Life sometimes interferes with your best laid out plans and well, there's pretty much nothing you can do about it except learn to be flexible and accepting.  

My dad called me 2 weeks ago.  It was late Sunday night and I was busy trying to walk my dog, finish some reading and clean up the kitchen.  I half-listened to him talk about his upcoming trip while I did 3 other things simultaneously.  Twenty minutes later I said goodbye.  For the last time.

My dad and another faculty member, Dr. Hartwick, took 12 students at Lynn University down to Haiti to do some volunteer work for a week.  I have been told that everyone had a wonderful experience on Monday and Tuesday visiting an orphanage and helping children eat.  The earthquake that occurred at 4:57pm on 1/12/2010 changed all of our lives forever.

At this point my dad is still considered to be missing.  He was at the Hotel Montana, most like in the gym challenging Dr. Hartwick to some silly weight lifting competition, when the building crumbled to pieces.  After 2 weeks, search and rescue crews continue to search the rubble for survivors.  But at this point my family and I are just hoping that one day soon we can at least say goodbye and let my father rest in peace back here in the US with us.  

The rest of my family has been strong.  Each day gets harder, but we are getting through them one day at a time.  But suddenly, what seemed so important before doesn't seem so urgent today.  Take the time to talk to your family.  Listen to them.  Share your life with them.  The dishes can wait.  I promise.

Welcome to my new website!  I am starting a new website in honor of this new year, which I hope will bring many good things to life.  I expect it to be a full season with 2 races already under my belt - the Carborro 50k was on Jan 2 and the Little River Trail Run was on Jan 9.